WELCOME

For many of our international students, living with a homestay family has been one of the highlights of their stay in New Zealand. They have found a new ‘family away from family’ and a life-long friendship with parents, host brothers and sisters has started. Of course, not all students experience that closeness, but it is our hope that living with your homestay family will be a very important part of your stay in New Zealand and a very positive experience.

This booklet has been written to give you information about living with a New Zealand family. We hope that it makes it easier for you to settle into your new home.

Of course, even with your own family, you need to have good communication and at times a flexible attitude. Living with a different family in a different culture makes this even more important. But we know that that if you are prepared to make the necessary changes and adjust to your new life, that you will have many great experiences and opportunities.

YOUR HOMESTAY FAMILY

Ask your Homestay Parents what they would like you to call them. Remember, just as you feel shy and strange with them, they will feel the same towards you. Their ways may be strange to you, and yours strange to them.

TIME WITH YOUR HOST FAMILY

You will want to spend time studying in your room. However, it is only polite to spend a little time each evening with your hosts.

When you go to your bedroom for the night, say “goodnight” to your host family – don’t just disappear! Saying “goodnight” is an important ritual in New Zealand families – going to bed without saying “goodnight” usually shows that you are angry or offended. Saying “Good morning” with a smile is always good at breakfast time!

Do join in if your host family arranges a trip out to a beach or to visit friends, etc. You will get to make new friends and you can practise your English. If they arrange to go somewhere that involves expenses (eg dinner at a restaurant), offer to pay your share. They may not accept, but will feel pleased that you offered.

HELPFUL HINTS

Remember to say “please” and “thank you” when something is done for you. Try to keep your telephone conversations brief – 10 minutes should be enough in most cases. New Zealanders go to bed much earlier than you are probably used to. We are usually in bed by 10.30pm. Ask your friends not to telephone you after about 9.30pm. Discuss a suitable bed-time with your family. Never make international toll calls unless you use a phone card, or have made other arrangements with your host family.

FOOD

You may find our food hard to get used to, especially potatoes, which New Zealanders love, and which they have with most evening meals. If you like chilli sauce on your food, ask your hosts to get a bottle for you. If you like to eat a lot of rice and noodles ask your hosts to cook them for you. You may be able to show them how you like them cooked.

Many students new to New Zealand are not accustomed to eating with a knife and fork. If you usually use chopsticks and feel more comfortable using them – continue to do so.

Your homestay mother will probably have worked hard to prepare your meals. Make sure you thank her for the meal. Again, come and see us if you are really having problems about food. Don’t keep food in your bedroom unless you have checked with your hosts that this is all right, and don’t get up in the middle of the night and cook food in the kitchen.

Ask your homestay what is available for you to eat if you are hungry between meals eg after school.

HELPING IN THE HOUSE

As part of the family, you should offer help with tasks such as washing or drying the dishes, bringing the washing in from the clothesline, setting the table for dinner, etc. (Boys as well as girls are expected to do these things in New Zealand). Your hosts may not accept your offer of help, but they will be very appreciative that you made the offer.

If you have problems, do not hesitate to get in touch with us.

CARING FOR YOUR BEDROOM

You may be expected to make your own bed each day before you leave for school. Ask your hosts to show you how to make it if you are not sure how to do it. Usually there is a soft innerspring mattress with an "underblanket" on top of that. Then there are two cotton sheets, woollen blankets and bedspread, or a "duvet". You must lie on one sheet with the other sheet and blankets on top of you. You must always sleep between the sheets, not with the blankets next to your body (woollen blankets are expensive and difficult to wash if they get dirty). The sheets on your bed will be changed each week for clean ones.

Keep your room as tidy as you can. Some students like to do their own cleaning – in which case you should vacuum the floor at least once a week – including under the bed. Your hosts may prefer to do the vacuuming themselves when they do the rest of the house. Always make sure the floor is clear of books, shoes, etc. Never stick posters or anything on your bedroom walls without getting the consent of your hosts.

WASHING AND IRONING

Generally your hosts will do this for you, but some students may prefer to do their own. Ask your hosts about a convenient time for you to do it and how to use the washing machine.

Most families keep a supply of soap powder near the tub. Woollen clothes and many other kinds of fabric shrink if they are washed in a washing machine or in hot water. Ask your hosts for advice on which of your garments should be washed by hand, and how to dry your clothes. Heavier garments like top coats are dry-cleaned.

Always use the ironing board and, when finished ironing, empty any remaining water from the storage tank if the iron is a steam iron.

USING THE BATHROOM

Discuss with your hosts what time each day you should have your shower. When showering or washing, try not to splash water around, and always wipe the shower walls and bathroom floors after you have showered.

Do not spend too long in the shower – five to ten minutes should be adequate to get yourself clean. You should provide your own toilet soap, toothpaste, shampoo etc. Ask your host whether you should keep them in your bedroom or in the bathroom. Never leave your cosmetics cluttering up the bathroom. Take special care if you use hair dye.

FRIENDS

New Zealanders most often entertain friends and guests by inviting them home, not by taking them to restaurants. Most homestay hosts will be very happy for you to invite your friends home, but be considerate. Ask first; do not invite more than one or two people, and make sure they do not stay after 9.30pm. It is not polite to take your friends to your bedroom and then shut the door, and you should never entertain a member of the opposite sex in your bedroom.

Remember, this is your hosts’ home. They want you to feel comfortable in it, but it is your duty to make sure they are not made uncomfortable by your actions.

New Zealanders nearly always say what they mean. If they agree to do something – they will do it, though it may take some time, and giving them frequent reminders or demanding instant action annoys them. They will think you are “pushy” or do not trust them. If they say “no” to a request, that is what they mean, and if you keep on asking after they say “no” they will feel angry, though they probably won’t show it.

If you are with friends from your own country and there are New Zealanders close by, it is courteous to speak to each other in English as much as possible.

New Zealanders like to keep a space around themselves, except with very close friends or members of the family. If you find a New Zealander is moving away from you as you speak with them, it is because you have moved too close to him/her – you have “invaded their personal space”. Be careful about this.

HEALTH

You should have had a medical check up before leaving your own country, and should have had your teeth checked. If you do develop any health problems you will probably find it most convenient to attend the doctor who looks after your host family. Ask your host family to put you on the doctor’s list.

The School has a nurse who is able to help you with minor health problems and a doctor is available each morning. Girls should be aware that the stress of travelling and being in a strange environment can bring on an early menstrual period. This is quite common, so do not be alarmed. Ask your host mother what you should do with used sanitary pads.

Health Insurance is compulsory. We recommend an International Student Care policy that covers health care, travel insurance, and loss of personal property.

KEEPING YOURSELF WARM

The first principle during the winter months is to wear warm clothing. New Zealand houses are heated in winter, but the cost of power for heating is considerable, so we try to use as little as possible. Your hosts will not be pleased if you turn on the heating while you are wearing light cotton clothes and perhaps have bare feet. When you feel cold you should wear warm clothing in the house, and add more layers when you go outside.

Buy yourself some warm pyjamas or nightdresses to wear to bed. You may find these uncomfortable at first, but you will soon get used to them. If necessary wear a pair of warm socks in bed - you cannot sleep if your feet are cold. Ask your hosts if you need more blankets on your bed.

Your hosts may supply you with an electric blanket or allow you to buy one for yourself. Electric blankets are for warming the bed before you get into it, and should be turned off or at least put on to the very lowest setting when you get into bed.

Always make sure your electric blanket is turned off when you go to school. Many house fires in New Zealand are caused by electric blankets overheating when they have been left on for long periods. You must also make sure an electric blanket is never creased or folded, or left going with a heavy weight on top of it – this can also cause a fire.

Never try to dry clothes or towels by putting them on or very close to an electric or gas heater.

It is important to keep hands and feet warm, so you should be sure to wear warm socks and gloves. Surprisingly, a lot of body heat is lost through the head, so you should not feel shy about wearing woollen headgear.

MONEY MATTERS

Very soon after your arrival, we will help you open a bank account.

The School will pay your homestay parents from money lodged in the School account by your parents. This money must be paid in advance.

During the holidays, when your property is left at your homestay, you must pay (in advance) a “retaining fee” for your room. This is because your homestay parents will not be able to use that room of their house while you are away. The retaining fee is NZ$40 a week, in advance.

DO NOT KEEP LARGE SUMS OF MONEY IN YOUR WALLET.

Sometimes other students will ask you to lend them money.

DO NOT LEND MONEY TO ANYONE.

MOTOR VEHICLE POLICY – Owning/Driving a Vehicle

In the interests of safety, the School does not usually permit an international student to own or drive a vehicle whilst at Hamilton’s Fraser High School. If it is necessary for the student to drive/own a car, then the student should first discuss the matter with the International Student Director.

It is a requirement that the driver must have a full NZ Driver’s Licence and complete a defensive driving course. The student must comply with the NZ transport laws pertaining to learner drivers.

Written permission from the parents for the student to own/drive a car must be obtained. Homestay parents must also be in agreement with the student owning a car.

COMPUTER USE

Not all homestay families will have broadband, and so with these families internet use ties up a telephone line. If you have your own computer, you can arrange with your host family to have your own telephone line, which you will need to pay for. Remember that you have come to New Zealand to study, and too much use of the computer is not helpful.

The homestay parent has the School’s permission to limit your time on the computer, if they think you are using it too much.

LIVING IN A DIFFERENT CULTURE

All new students from another country face challenges when they first arrive. You may feel afraid. This may mean you are a little nervous or you may even be quite terrified! The feeling is natural. After a short while you will probably start to feel “culture shock”. This comes from being surrounded by people of different cultures, who speak a different language, whose food and customs are different from yours. You will probably worry a good deal about whether you are behaving in an acceptable way. You will see people doing things in ways which have not been acceptable to you.

The symptoms of culture shock show themselves in many ways. You may feel tired and want to spend much time sleeping. You may feel you just can’t cope with all the new experiences that are bombarding you, and so you want to spend a lot of time alone in your room. You may feel that not only is everything different, it is not as good as what you are used to, and you may feel critical of everything around you. As well as that, you may feel “homesick” and long quite desperately for your home and family. All these feelings are terrible while they last. But if you can recognise them for what they are and speak about them, it will help. You need to tell yourself, “This is how I am feeling now, and it is not good, but I am not going to feel like this forever. This feeling will pass, and soon I will feel happy and confident again”.

What can you do about it?

Here are some suggestions and facts that may help your settling in time to be a little easier.

• Spend time with friends from your own country – but not all your spare time
• Come and see us or one of your teachers and talk about it
• Join in a regular sports or cultural activity, either at school or near your home. This will help you get acquainted with more New Zealanders. There are a large number of different sports available at Fraser, including table tennis and badminton.

Above all, be patient. Time is really the best cure.

IMPORTANT RULES

• We take our responsibility for you seriously, and expect you to also be responsible.
• Discuss any social plan you have with your homestay to get their approval. When you go out you must tell your homestay parent where you are going, and agree on a time you will be home. If you are late, telephone to let them know where you are.
• If you are not going to be home for a meal, you must tell your homestay well in advance of the meal time.
• You may not stay away overnight without the prior approval of both your homestay and the Director of International Students. In some cases written permission from your parents will be required.
• You will not normally be allowed to stay with another family unless they are also an approved host family. When you do have permission to stay away your homestay will need the address and phone number of the people you are staying with.
• These rules are the same for all international students at all schools and are for your safety.

HOLIDAY DEPARTURE and RETURN

Students must discuss their intended departure and return dates with Mr Davis PRIOR to booking tickets to go home for holidays.

Departure and return dates must coincide as near as possible with New Zealand school holidays.

IN CONCLUSION

Remember that it is natural for you to feel homesick at times, but also remember that it will get easier. There will be a lot of exciting new experiences to enjoy, and new challenges to meet. Please come and see us or any of your teachers if you have concerns about aspects of your life at school or at home.

Remember - Our 24/7 (emergency) contact is 021 240 8557

Peter Faulkner
DIRECTOR of INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS ph 021 895 047

Pauline Corfield
HOMESTAY MANAGER, INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS ph 021 240 8557

Jo Smith
LEADER of LEARNING for INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS ph 07 847 9044 ext 750